Building False Confidence: The problem with most Martial Arts Schools/Clubs

By Paul Oddi

It’s very easy to teach confidence in a martial arts school. Everyone goes along with the program, does everything they are told, and takes in every word the instructor tells them about being able to effectively defend themselves because of their martial arts. In fact, it is much easier to teach confidence than it is to teach actual skill.

At most schools you or your child will get a new colored belt every couple of months, receive constant praise awards for the most insignificant progress, and be promoted to a black belt in just a few years. Now this wouldn’t be too bad, but confidence in ones martial arts needs to match ones skill. Having confidence in skills that don’t exist could be very dangerous. Especially with children.

When a child goes through the program and is flying high with false confidence and high self-esteem, a run in with a bully or bullies (which is more often the case in schools today), or get into a real fight can be devastating. To find out the hard way that ones martial arts belt is worthless, that ones role models were fake and that all that seemed so good was simply an illusion is devastating. It happens more than you might think. Especially when you can’t talk your way out of a fight, walk or run away from a situation. You had better have real skill to behind that confidence.

To serve the child’s best interest the instructor must be honest about the person’s functional skill, not their perceived skill. But unfortunately most clubs and instructors build false confidence through empty praise and constant rewards. It is really more important to build confidence by building abilities.

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