I call “Bernard Shaw!” or Be careful not to “Drink the Kool-Aid”.

By Paul Oddi

I should first explain that one of my high school English teachers, a great fan of the playwright George Bernard Shaw, use to use “Bernard Shaw” as a euphemism for Bull$#*&; feeling that many of his plays often illustrated the Bull$#*of the world and society. Over the years I have adopted it myself as a more polite euphemism.

Showtime has a program hosted by the famous magicians Penn and Teller, which uses critical thinking to pseudoscientific ideas, supernatural beliefs, popular fads, and misconceptions. The show title and the excessive use of certain profanities in describing a situation is that according to one of the host’s Penn Jillette “”…It’s also a legal matter. If one calls people ‘liars’ and ‘quacks’ one can be sued and lose a lot of one’s money…If we said it was all scams, we could also lose a lot of money. Bull$#*&’s pretty safe.”. Its interesting how despite our many freedoms we still have limits on what we can and cannot say despite the obvious truth to statements.

You’d be surprised how often claims are made by martial artists, and/or martial arts instructors that go unquestioned or unchallenged. This can range from small things such as overstating experience to the downright ludicrous claims of mystical feats. The best example I know of an outrageous story, as told by a martial arts instructor, comes from the owner of a karate club in the area.

Last year, I was invited to one of the area high schools to come in and teach some Boxing to some of their gym classes. It is common for schools to bring in outside instructors to come in and teach their students things such as Yoga, Boxing, Self-Defense, Archery, etc.. As I was about to begin teaching the class some of the students, one of whom was also a student at my club, were telling me that the past few days they had been learning self-defense from a Karate instructor. They told me that this instructor told them that he runs a marathon every weekend, a statement that the students seemed to feel was contradicted by the ample size of his belly. Not wanting to sound negative towards another instructor, I told then that the size of someone stomach is not always an accurate measure of their fitness.

It was at this point that they told me that the instructor told a story about how he had been sitting on a park bench one day, and had reached his hand out to catch what he though was a bee buzzing past only to find that he had caught a bullet in midair instead. What???? I said that he was probably just pulling their leg and trying to make them laugh, but apparently he gave everyone the impressions that he was serious, and that he was able to do this amazing feat because of his years of training.

The Martial Arts industry has long been rife with fantastical stories of the legendary accomplishments of martial arts practitioners. But come on… Are you kidding me? You caught a bullet with your bare hand. I have to call “Bernard Shaw” on any instructor who would go around telling people he can catch bullets, even if it was only once. But apparently nobody including the teacher questioned just how ridiculous such claims are.

The phrase ‘Drinking the Kool-Aid’ comes to mind when I hear such stories or about students who follow their instructors without question. It means to become a firm believer in something, to accept an argument or philosophy wholeheartedly or blindly. A reference to Jim Jones (No not Gym Jones) and the Jonestown suicide cult, who blindly and without question consumed a flavored beverage laced with potassium cyanide with tragic results.

If an instructor makes outrageous claims, says things that give you pause or are hard to believe. Don’t ever be afraid to ask questions and to have healthy skepticism, or when appropriate to call someone on their ‘Bernard Shaw!”.

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